Bahasa Indo lebih enak

Bahasa Indonesia memang lebih nyaman. Coba aja ngomong kalimat-kalimat di bawah ini.

Bahasa Indonesia:

"Tiga nenek sihir melihat tiga buah arloji merk Swatch. Nenek sihir mana melihat pada arloji Swatch yang mana?"

Dalam bahasa Inggris:

"Three witches watch three Swatch watches. Which witch watch which Swatch watch?

Yang lainnya...

Bahasa Indonesia:

"Tiga nenek sihir biseksual mengagumi kenop kenop dari tiga arloji Swatch. Nenek sihir biseksual mana yang memandangi kenop arloji Swatch yang mana?"

Dalam bahasa Inggris:

"Three switched witches watch three. Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch?" muncrat semua tuh ludah :D

Arti Peribahasa 'Aneh' Bahasa Inggris

JUST BEE YOURSELF
(”Sengatkan diri anda dengan tawon”)

THE RIGHT MAN IN THE WRONG PLACE
(”Orang di sebelah kanan, salah tempat… hrsnya di sebelah kiri”)

DONT JUDGE THE BOOK BY THE COVER
(”Jangan menghukum buku dengan koper”)

LIKE FATHER LIKE SON
(”Suka bapaknya, suka juga sama anaknya”)

THE BEAUTY IS UNDER THE SKIN
(”Jadi cakep kalo udah ganti kulit”)

NO GAIN WITHOUT PAIN
(”Ga dapet duit kalo ngga kesakitan dulu… kaya kuda lumping”)

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE
(”Yang bener boleh keluar”)

LOVE IS BLIND
(”Mencintai orang buta”)

Thank You Seven

Si Tejo baru belajar bahasa Inggris.
Kosa kata yang dia mengerti baru sebatas:
Ok, Never Mind, Thank you, One, Two, Three, Four Five, Six, Seven dan Bye-Bye.

Pada suatu hari,
Dalam perjalanan pulang dari tempat Kursusnya.
Tiba-tiba dia bersenggolan dengan seorang Bule.
Buku yang dibawa Tejo-pun terjatuh,
Bule itu lalu membantu Tejo ngambil buku-buku yang berhamburan.

”Hmm..ini peluang untuk nguji kehebatan bahasa inggris-ku” kata Tejo dalam hati.

Bule : Oh, I'm Sorry
Tejo : It's Ok, Never Mind. Thank you.
Bule : Thank you Too.
Tejo : (hmm.. habis Two, pasti Three) Thank You Three.
Bule : (heran) What For?
Tejo : (Four..Four hmm Five) Thank you Five.
Bule : (Tambah Heran) Are you Sick ?
Tejo : (Waduh, habis Sick.. Seven... setelah itu,…
aku sudah tidak tau dah.. mesti cepet cabut nich)
Tejo cepet-2 ngemasi bukunya dan beranjak pergi...
Setelah agak jauh, Lalu Tejo berteriak ..
Thank you Seveeen ! Bye-Bye .

Bule : (bingung)

Kids are Quick

TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America ..
MARIA : Here it is.
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS : Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER : John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables.
____________________________________

TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile'?
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________

TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O.
____________________________________

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
____________________________________

TEACHER : Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
____________________________________

TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I'.
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am'.
MILLIE : All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
____________________________________

TEACHER : George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS : Because George still had the axe in his hand.
____________________________________

TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
____________________________________

TEACHER : Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog.
____________________________________

TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no
longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher

Do you speak English?

Togh yu spik englis wel, ai bet yu don andesten dis
D.O. setelah belajar 1 satu tahun BAHASA INGGRIS

Part ONE

Ane kaget banget kemaren ini pas lewat di depannye kelurahan, ngebace spanduk nyang isinye:

"SAVE THE COUNTRY, HANG TNI ... SAVE THE PEOPLE, HANG POLRI"
Usut punye usut, ternyate nyang dimaksud ialah:
"Keselametan negare, tergantung TNI ... keselametan rakyat, tergantung POLRI".

Bujubuneng ..., rupenye si Lurah baru ikutan kursus bahase Inggris tapi udah nekat buat tampil ...

Part TWO

Seorang supir lagi nyetirin boss bule Amrik, kebetulan lagi sial. Mobilnya nyodok kendaraan di depannya karena mendadak berhenti. Dengan terbata-bata ia minta maaf kepada si boss:
Supir: "Sorry Sir, I brake brake, do not eat. After I check the wheel no flower again."
("Maaf pak, saya rem-rem nggak makan, setelah saya cek rodanya nggak ada kembangannya lagi.")

Begitu si Boss mau ikutan ribut sama yg ditabrak, dia bilang:
Supir: "Don't follow mix, Sir! The bring that car if not wrong is the children fruit from manager moneys, he stupid doesn't play! Let know taste."
("Nggak usah ikut campur Pak! Yang bawa mobil itu kalo nggak salah anak buah dari manajer keuangan, dia memang goblok bukan main! Biar tahu rasa.")

Besoknya si supir gak masuk kerja, terus pas lusanya dia masuk si boss bule nanya:
Bule: "Why you're not coming?"
Supir : "I am sorry boss, my body is not delicious, my body taste like enter the wind."
("Maaf boss, badan saya tidak enak, badan saya rasanya seperti masuk angin.")

Part THREE

Suatu hari ada bule kehilangan sepeda motornya yg dia parkir didepan toko di sekitar jalan Malioboro, Yogya. Lalu dia bertanya ke Paijo, yg saat itu kebetulan berada di tempat parkir, apakah dia ngeliat org yg ngambil sepeda motornya.

Paijo: "Yes, he use to table square-square. Worth he fast-fast go without any wet expire."
("Iya, dia pakai ke-meja kotak-kotak. Pantes dia cepat-cepat pergi tanpa basa basi.")

Lalu degan sok berwibawa Paijo menasehati,
Paijo: "Sir, different river, if park bicycle motor heart-heart, yes?"
("Tuan, lain kali kalo parkir sepeda motor hati-hati ya?")

Tapi bule itu diam saja karena nggak tau mau jawab apa, shg Paijo jadi ngedumel,
Paijo: "Basic bule!" ("Dasar bule!")

Karena nggak tau harus ngomong apa lagi, si bule ngeloyor pergi dan dengan PD-nya Paijo bilang, "Breasttttt!" sambil melambaikan tangannya.“
Maksudnya: "Dadaaaaa!"

Conversation Bush and Condolezza

Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.
SCENE: The Oval Office. George Bush and Condolezza Rice.

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Let's hear it.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I''m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinese?
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well,I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That''s the man's name.
George: That's whose name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes sir.
George: Yassir? You mean arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. I bet he knows.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. and then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: Call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N .?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: and stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N!
Condi: Kofi?
George: all right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice here.
George: Rice? Good idea. and a couple of egg rolls, too.